A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
Humor is reason gone mad.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.