The Color of Heather

Me: A cow gave birth to a pig.

Danny: Thank you for that wonderful and useful information. I shall take it to space, where the bear goddess shall flower me with mashed potatoes. Then the astral owl shall desend and we shall chill.

Me:

He’s Blind!

He’s and Idiot!

He has no heart…

He has no SOUL!

Julian: It’s like it’s raining, but instead of water the sky is throwing tiny, fluffy bits of ice at me. What is this sorcery?!

*Getting ready to trick or treat. Julian is not wearing a shirt, but only has a leather jacket. He is very pale.

Alisha: We have some spray glitter. You can be Edward Cullen!

Julian: We used that last year. I inhaled so much I think my lungs still sparkle from that ****.

Alisha: So you’re a vampire on the inside!

The Rest of Us: Vampires don’t sparkle!

Christy: Not even on the inside!

Two wrongs make a threesome.

Clayton: “Marcus, remember when you told me that we were going to have a magical sword fight?”

Marcus: “I do remember, and what a glorious day it will be! We shall be standing on hill tops and huge swords will apear out of no where and they will have a magical aura surrounding them. There will be lightning striking from the sky as we charge each other. The force of our swords clashing for the first time shall be powerful enough that it will make Zeus himself fall from the Heavens. Then we shall slay the mighty God Zeus and continue our fight to the death!!!”

Clayton: “Alright, Marcus. I will see you on the hill top and await out battle in the near future.”

Marcus, walking away: “Indeed you shall!”

Balding, it’s not a receding hairline it’s a facial frontier.

Clayton: I’m not sure whats scarier… Julian in the morning or Heather after a monster.

Chris: There’s a height limit, and you’re not quite there.

Me: Huh?

Chris: That whole conversation went over your head.

Spencer: Knock Knock

Me: Who’s there?

Spencer: Interupting Cow.

Me: Interupting–

Spencer: MOOOOOO!