I’m fixin’ to get on a soapbox 😉
I was walking with a retired neighbor and he was telling me that he tried to collect fruit and prune a tree from a ladder… and he fell and scraped his wrist. Yah, I let him have it for at least a mile!!! ;-). What’s worse is that his wife was out of town AND so were the neighbors on that side of his yard!
Hello!?! As “young” men ya’ll always insist someone spot the ladder for you, so what, retirement makes ya stupid now?!? (Yes, I can to “ya’ll” the whole lot of ya!)
As we were walking we stopped to chat with another neighbor (retirement ageish) who was looking a little disheveled and was literally brushing off the dirt while he proceeded to tell his own “fell off the ladder just now, messin’ with the gutter” story!!
I let him have it too and he explained that he would die happy in his own backyard…
UNLESS I didn’t die and then the coyotes come out and that would only bother me because they would mess up my favorite boots … Neighbor1 replied, “or the birds peck out your eyes…” In a super sweet but clearly sarcastic tone, I told them, “Oh no! I’ll make sure the coyotes and birds didn’t get ya’ll… [paused for dramatic effect] I’ll just get some fireants!” Neighbor1 replied, “OH ants… ugh, I don’t like ants” as Neighbor2 is laughing so hard, I thought he’d die laughing, then he squeezed hugged my shoulders super tight and finally caught his breathe and said “I didn’t realize you had such a wicked redneck streak in you! You’re alright!”
I made them both promise to at least tell someone (at a minimum their immediate next door neighbors) that they were bein’ an idiot. I was sure they both had fingers crossed behind their backs so I did the only honorable thing… I threatened to tell on them 😉
Let’s just be clear, if you happen to have the word “senior” in front of your citizen, you need someone to hold the ladder for ya! DEAL WITH IT!!!
[Names withheld as promised until I bust them breaking their word… or it just happens to be too funny not to tell on them!]